To the Newly Minted Adult: Take Your Stuff

It is nearly 6 years after my daughter moved out and I am tackling the stuff.  Games, toys, socks, underwear, journals, everything!

It’s coming up on graduation time and lots of newly minted high school and college graduates will be leaving their parents’ homes.  As a parent, whose children moved out some years ago, let me give the newly minted adults some advice:  take your stuff.  Take all of it.  Even if you don’t want it.

Take it when you go.  Or throw it away.  Throw it away and bag it in black garbage bags so your parents can’t see you don’t want the teddy bear they gave you on your second birthday.  Don’t leave it behind as a constant reminder of the child that is gone.  Take your journals and your school projects.  Don’t leave the journals and short stories for your parents to read and cry about that they didn’t know your secret pain.  And maybe it was a short story and not even pain at all, but they don’t know.  Don’t leave spare underwear, socks, and running clothes in case you visit.

Don’t make them have to sort through it to figure out what might still be meaningful to you or not.  And why not.  And what does it say about them and how they raised you.  Don’t give them things to cry in angst over.

Leave:  Pictures of your smiling face.  Happy things so they can think of you as the adult you now are as well as the child they loved.

Take:  Your house key.  Come back and visit.  Take their phone number.  Call them.  Tell them you love them.  Not as a child loves a parent, but as an adult loves the parent who has seen them on this journey called life and who loves and respects them.

Take your stuff.  Don’t leave your parents to drown in it.


Humpty Dumpty is Shattered

How do I put myself back together again? It wasn’t 2 weeks ago I was looking forward to many things. My son is getting married in a few weeks. But I was told, not quite 2 weeks ago  at work that my position was eliminated. There is nothing more central to the core of our being than what we do. And today, I am told that I do nothing, have no value, no intrinsic worth, no reason to exist.

It’s not personal, it’s business. Yet on this end of this nasty business there is a person. Today I have no value, no intrinsic worth, no reason to exist.

How does one put Humpty Dumpty back together again? Don’t tell me when one door shuts, another one opens. We all want that to be true, but it isn’t always. This is how we ended up in North Carolina–the same thing happened to my husband. At they same age I am now. I helped him revise his resume, apply for jobs, find contacts.

This time I’m in this hole alone. My husband has never been as supportive of my career as I have of his. But I don’t think I can put myself back together again by myself.  I have no value, no intrinsic worth, no reason to exist. Humpty Dumpty is shattered.  He was just a worthless shell anyway.

This is the part of the blog where I add the uplifting comments. Learn to live with disappointment.






Being Judgmental

Recently someone called me judgmental. I have too admit it hurt my feelings. But I suppose I am judgmental. I judge whether things are right or wrong for my life. And I have opinions about whether things are good or bad for society as a whole. Did you ever see someone litter and thought that was bad of them? Someone cut you off and you called them a name?  Yes, I look at people’s action and decide whether those actions are ones I would repeat or not. Whether I find them offensive or not. Whether I find them admirable or not.

The truth is, one of the great ironies of life is that to call someone judgmental means YOU are judging THEM. So, welcome to the club.


Getting Things Done

I have had more energy these last few weeks than I have had in a while.  Perhaps it’s because I’m losing weight, perhaps it’s desperation that the end of the year is approaching, perhaps it’s to avoid doing things I shouldn’t.  Whatever the reason, early in November I made myself a promise to finish 6 projects.  Well, as of last Tuesday, I am done.  The final one went out Tuesday night.  Here is the final quilt I did.

After returning from Fedex (who apparently delivered the package to the wrong address, and I’m still looking for it…..), I started Bonnie Hunter’s Allietare Mystery and am doing my dutiful Monday morning link up.

I did manage to get Clues 1-3 done so far, and will start Clue 4 today.

And how about you? Are you doing anything productive?

Losing the Holiday Weight

This might seem to be a little early. But really it is a little late. I made a decision a few weeks ago to lose the Holiday Weight. I’m not talking about the holidays, but about my dog Holiday, who passed away in February.

I had been eating badly and didn’t have my best friend for my daily walks. So I’m off on a culinary adventure. The refrigerator is stocked with fruits and vegetables, the pantry with oatmeal and brown rice and multigrain this and that.

And I have a new walking companion. I fostered a few dogs this year, but the last one is now my dog. Pixie is 6 years old, and has not had a happy life. You can tell a dog that had been hit or kicked–they randomly cower in fear when their mind thinks the blow is coming. But generally, Pixie is a happy dog. She had to undergo heartworm treatment, but now is feeling much better and she shows the same pure, unadulterated joy as Holiday did when I get out the leash for a walk.

So hopefully, I will lose the Holiday weight by the end of the holidays. Wish me luck!


Is Computerized Quilting Killing the Local Quilt Show?

This weekend is my guild’s quilt show. Quilt shows are big deals for guilds. For most, it’s how they make their money to offer more classes and programs for their members.  Each year, attendance at quilt shows seems to decline. Not just ours, but others I have talked to indicate attendance is down on their areas as well. And shows I have attended year after year, seem less crowded.

So in discussing this with my husband, I asked him why he thought attendance was down. The economy is always a factor, since people whose disposable income is down won’t travel far, or spend as much. Understandable. But to me, the decline seems steady over the last 15 years or so.

So I asked my husband, as someone who is on the fringes, why he thought attendance wad down. Over the years he’s accompanied me to many quilt shows, but he doesn’t quilt, and he is careful with his opinions because he likes sleeping in the bedroom.

His opinion: computerized quilting. The results of computerized quilting machines is now so perfect that the gap between professional and hobbyist is a gulf. And hobbyists can’t compete. Yes, they can “quilt by checkbook”, if they can afford it, but then the finished product is not fully their work, eliminating a sense of pride that the hobbyist feels when they see their own creation from start to finish.  And even those hobbyists who create some marvelous pieces cannot be as prolific as the computerized quilter.  So shows are full of two very different levels of quality.

So, I don’t know. I see a lot of merit to my husband argument, but I’m not sure if that’s the whole story or not. What do you think? Is the traditional quilt show coming to an end?  And is computerized quilting the catalyst?

You Were Wrong!

Recently I asked you all if I should add beading to my alligator quilt.  NO ONE said that I should leave it unbeaded.  However, after I bought the beads and laid them out and argued with my husband and looked at it and fretted over it, I decided that the quilt wasn’t about beads.  It was primitive, and meant to be primitive.  So I left it primitive.

I skipped the beads and sent it in unbeaded.  And it won SECOND PLACE in the innovative category of the Pennsylvania National Quilt Expo!

I was thrilled to have my quilt accepted, so you can imagine how over the moon I was to hear I won a ribbon.  And I must admit, that I sent it in without even knowing their was prize money to boot, so yeah….I was thrilled again to hear that there was a little sumpin’ sumpin’ coming in an envelope to me, too!

And then one more thing to absolutely make me into just ridiculously thrilled–a friend from guild emailed me that she just happened to be at the show and saw my quilt.  It just made it all extra special.

So…one terrific experience, and I do appreciate the time everyone took to comment and vote.  Although I didn’t take your advice this time, I have before on other polls.  And this time was a little different.  I am very “in tune” with that piece, I think, and I just knew what it needed to be.

I am thinking maybe a Great Northwestern Kangaroo….or Elephant.  Thoughts?